White Woman Black Husband House Shopping Funny
Meet Olivia A. Cole, an author and Louisville resident who is looking for a new home to rent with her husband. Olivia is well enlightened of the horrors of house hunting, along with the rest of u.s. scarred renters out there, just her almost recent experience is unlike anything we've ever heard before. She took to Twitter to take her followers on a detailed 28-tweet journey about a "beautiful older house" that may or may not take been possessed by the devil.
Buckle your seat belts, because this is quite the ride . . .
Then I may have done the whitest thing imaginable today. I never thought I would be this white woman.
Merely here nosotros are. Bring together me for this story
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May xi, 2017 My hubby and I just moved to Louisville and nosotros hate our apartment. So we've been checking out new places to rent. Today we had a showing.
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 11, 2017 We actually desire more infinite so have been checking out rental homes. Today we saw this cute older house. A bungalow. I was all pic.twitter.com/w8N5hBgH8N
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May xi, 2017 It rained last night so the outside is a piddling gloomy. Older house. Wet stone. My husband is like "Eh information technology's a petty creepy." pic.twitter.com/iHHpG7NCYq
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May xi, 2017 I'thou all "No! it's just rainy! It'due south cute!" So the agent starts giving usa the tour.
Commencement thing nosotros detect is this weird grate thing inside.
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May xi, 2017 Yeah, nosotros're going to have to side with Olivia's married man here, because the inside of the habitation but reminded us to do the one affair we're e'er told non to: judge a volume past its cover.
I say "nosotros." No. My *husband* noticed. I was admiring the crown moulding and he was like "Um, what is this?" *points*
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May xi, 2017 Amanuensis: "Oh that's just the render vent for the AC."
Me: "Oh okay!"
Husband: "Why does it expect similar the bars to a dungeon?"
Amanuensis: film.twitter.com/peolDuk2lK
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May eleven, 2017 We motion forth in the tour. We check out the kitchen. Information technology'southward tiny and I melt a lot, then even I was like, "hmm." Husband notices something.
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May eleven, 2017 Just if you lot think a small kitchen is the trouble hither, prepare to exist sorely mistaken.
"What are these scratches on the window?"
Agent: "Oh, I think it's tough to open up and so probably a petty wear and tear."
Me: "Oh okay!"
Him: pic.twitter.com/DJOgLCTKgi
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 11, 2017 Nosotros check out the upstairs. Perfect room for a plant nursery. Master bedroom is smallish, but nice big closet. Me right now: motion picture.twitter.com/Em1NQ2msmW
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 11, 2017 Husband *inspecting closet*: "Um...what is this little door within the closet?"
Agent: "What little door? Oh. I didn't observe that." pic.twitter.com/PIk60dCYMY
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May eleven, 2017 By now, Olivia'southward hubby has realized they're currently touring a house possessed past the devil. Olivia, not then much.
Husband opens the door. Information technology'southward a tiny dark room.
Husband looks at me, whispers: "It looks like that shit from Become Out, Olivia."
Me by at present: pic.twitter.com/9c32VsbTNv
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 11, 2017 Agent: "Permit'due south check out the basement next, shall we?"
Me: "Okay!"
Husband: "I hateful..."
Nosotros become to the basement.
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 11, 2017 A basement in an already-creepy abode is never a good thought.
Information technology's very make clean and non super dark. Lots of shelving. Couple chairs.
And a door in the very back.
It has three padlocks & a sliding lock.
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 11, 2017 Husband immediately: "What does that door get to?"
Agent quickly: "Oh, I don't think it goes anywhere. We don't have a key."
Me: Ok!
Him: movie.twitter.com/4x4ISH3DXb
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 11, 2017 — Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May eleven, 2017 Agent: "Let'south check out the backyard, shall we?"
Me: "Okay!"
Husband: "Lord Jesus."
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 11, 2017 No.
We go to the backyard. It's so cute. Rosebushes. Hostas and shit. Firepit.
Me, forgetting about the door locked to keep the Devil out: moving-picture show.twitter.com/bZrS4DmeAh
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 11, 2017 There's a latticework thingy that hides the underside of the house. I see a door.
Me: See? There'south the door! It just goes to the backyard!
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 11, 2017 Husband: You realize that door is on the opposite side of the basement. (points at blank wall) That's where the locked door should be.
Me: moving picture.twitter.com/tn7X9Y6xqF
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 11, 2017 And he was right. The door I was looking at had a window into the basement. The place where the Devil-locked door should take been was empty
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 11, 2017 — Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 11, 2017 Delight stop, Mr. Existent Manor Agent.
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May eleven, 2017 All of u.s. have seen the motion picture where the white adult female is making dumb ass decisions & ignoring EVERY SIGN OF THE DEVIL'S HANDIWORK.
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May xi, 2017 Well, anybody. Today. Today I was that white adult female.
The devil most got me for some goddamn rosebushes and a built-in mainland china chiffonier.
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May eleven, 2017 I was well-nigh signing a 12 month lease with The Conjuring bc my white donkey got taken in by some original hardwood floors & a porcelain tub
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May eleven, 2017 BUT THE HARDWOOD FLOORS.
Considering lighting sage in case the Devil saw my impaired ass swooning over a screened-in verandah and decided to follow me abode.
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May eleven, 2017 Pray for me. Only more chiefly....pray for my husband for marrying my dumb ass.
Fin.
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 11, 2017 Permit's all acquire from Olivia and remember that the house from Get Out SHOULD Non Exist LIVED IN IN REAL LIFE. Since the couple'southward run-in with the devil, it looks similar they've learned their lesson on their 2nd house tour, and although we would've loved to exist taken on some other glorious journey, they decided it was all-time to leave.
New house hunting thread!
Went to some other ane today. This one was likewise haunted, this time with a Blue Lives Matter sign
We left.
The terminate. flick.twitter.com/5kRQnwK8Ux
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) May 12, 2017 Source: https://www.popsugar.com/home/RantingOwl-Funny-House-Hunting-Story-43529550
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